dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize