Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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