My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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