Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm drive I can fine osifer
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
