I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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