at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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