You really coming over, don't trick.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
