if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
