If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
