Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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