Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
