Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
