PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
