I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
