she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
