This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
