so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
