I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
