i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
