WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
