1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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