Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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