the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
