I want to stick my p in your. b.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
