I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
