I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
