Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
