Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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