he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
