you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
