I'm really into asian looking animals
i would punch a child for taco bell
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
