Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Randomize
