it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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