You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
