I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
please come you make the beer taste better
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
