I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize