careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
