bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
