Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
