I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
and she was petting her beer can
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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