lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
