btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
