I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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