your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm getting married
To pizza
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
