I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
