woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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