My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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