I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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