He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
