Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
