Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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