This is not my ceiling
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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