On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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