Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
