Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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