she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
