Umm I'm too high to move.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize