What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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