She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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