i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
