I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
