one might say we're banned from that church
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
