we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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